Urine luck because our spin on a familiar story runs counterclockwise and is flush with potty language -that is, if you consider puns to be the sh!t.
The classic Pittsburgh Toilet is perplexing to the uninitiated but just “Grandma’s basement” to all hometowners.
Pittsburgh architecture was so cutting edge in the early 1900s and open floor plans were taken to the extreme. Yes, perhaps having a room’s focal point be an out-in-the-open privy throne in loo of a less intimately-sensitive chair would have been more “American standard” fair. But in Pittsburgh we like being the first of things – so we can only assume the great designers of the times decided that a toilet wide open in the middle of a room was the best way to go.
My grandma’s Pittsburgh Toilet sat under the basement steps which afforded both some privacy as well as gave warning for the advancement of any unwanted company. “Occupied!! No you can’t get the beer out of the beer fridge at this moment!” a warning would be shouted from seat-height level to the feet plopping ominously overhead. Ahhh, the good ol’ days.
Given our affection for our quaint porcelain peculiarities we decided it was time to do a toilet feature (a toilet seature, if you will) featuring our beloved Pittsburgh Toilets. Also, we are sitting on too many toilet puns to let the opportunity pass.
We sat down in our whiz palaces and reviewed the Pittsburgh Toilet scene. We were very relieved to find some #pghtoilet gems! There are no Loo-sers here.
Which do you think is the ultimate Pittsburgh Toilet Royal Throne? Which is the Number Two Loo? Who only belongs on the TP Honor Roll?
OK, enough with the bathroom humor – We can’t hold it in any longer. Let’s get on a roll. We hope you can handle it!
PITTSBURGH TOILET ROYAL THRONE
Neighborhood: Lawrenceville
Our Thoughts: Out in the open? Check. Basement life going on around it? Check. Those are some key qualifications of a good Pittsburgh Toilet. And I’m sure when in use the goer hopes no one wants to do the laundry or is happening to walk by outside.
Photo Cred: Ted Zellers is a no joke Pittsburgh Potty aficionado. He is currently working on a coffee table book of Pittsburgh Toilet photos. We’re sure it will make for some great bathroom reading!
THE NUMBER TWO LOO
Neighborhood: Bridgeville
Our Thoughts: We worried about over-using Ted Zellers’ popular Pittsburgh Potty pics, but just look at what he’s been able to capture! A Classic Pittsburgh Toilet standing at attention, beckoning the brave, welcoming the weary. We enjoyed how this one was discreetly tucked behind a pillar which undoubtedly affords its visitors a chance to fend off interruption without a visual. And do you spy the beer fridge?
Photo Cred: WESA did a few features on the Pittsburgh Toilet and Ted Zellers’ fine photographic work was on display once again.
TP HONOR ROLL #1
Neighborhood: Unknown
Our Thoughts: This toilet is well staged -as in, it is literally on a stage. And it clearly gets some use. Stuck in a long game of air hockey but need to go? You could pretty much take a bathroom break and not even interupt your play — That’s how you know you’re definitely a Pittsburgher!
Photo Cred: @rena.a posted this classy Classic PGH Toilet photo.
TP HONOR ROLL #2
Neighborhood: Greensburg, PA
Our Thoughts: We’re thinking most people’s religious statuary doesn’t adorn their basement toilets, but then again if you’re using your Pittsburgh Potty you’ll likely be praying no one comes down the basement!
Photo Cred: @danhowellrealtor in Greensburg and other realtors out there likely encounter these Classic Pittsburgh gems daily! Total selling point.
TP HONOR ROLL #3
Neighborhood: Somewhere in Western/Central PA
Our Thoughts: Well it isn’t quite in the basement, but we didn’t disqualify it for that. Because this is the most daring Pittsburgh Toilet out there! The “someone’s coming down the steps” warning is cut in half. There’s a “I’m going inside” door right there (ahh!!) Thank goodness for all those locks. Our only recommendation is that the new homeowners invest in a larger doormat so that it can double as a bath mat.
Photo Cred: @gelsick_home_inspection – We can only assume this house passed inspection as it was totally up to Pittsburgh Code!
TP HONOR ROLL #4
Neighborhood: In only the highest-class Pittsburgh Potty basement locales!
Our Thoughts: Before wireless phones happened we have no doubt that most upscale Pittsburgh Potty destinations had their own rotary phone like this one. A few thoughts: (1) Someone had to install that phone “Thanks for coming Bell Telephone installer — No, you’re headed the wrong way. This won’t be going in the living room.” (2) The first phone call is the easiest. But what happens for #2? (3)When you dream of having a house with a white picket fence you should specify where you want it… you may get it on the laundry chute!
Photo Cred: Robin Cromie
Did we miss any good hometown toilets? ‘Let us know! Use #madeinpgh and #pghtoilet to show us your beloved Pittsburgh Toilet and you could be seatured on our TP Honor Roll!
Grab an as-classy-as-possible pic of your beloved Pittsburgh Toilet, but please mind your pees-and-poos – lid down? fun-and-funky not fun-and-gunky? (We poo-poo poo!). Now get going!
This content was provided by a local, independent contributor to Made in PGH, a lifestyle blog.