On a bright and sunny day, Terry Bradshaw stood atop Mt. Washington clutching a Terrible Towel and a stone tablet. Inscribed on this tablet were 10 commandments that would deliver Pittsburgh from rust to riches.
As Bradshaw began to read the commandments aloud, the tablet slipped from his hands. Time stood still as the tablet neared the ground. Just when it appeared as though the Pittsburgh commandments would be lost forever, Franco swooped in, snagged the stone tablet and saved the day – again! And the tablet read:
1. Honor thy Steel City.
Go forth and brag about the ‘Burgh. This is your city and everyone should know it!
2. Know which bridge or tunnel to take, and when.
Avoid the Parkway during rush hour and Route 28 at all times.
3. Accompany visiting out-of-towners to Mt. Washington.
Be hospitable – take photos and ride the incline (again).
4. Respect thy Three Rivers.
Kayak or paddleboard. Run or bike the trails. Just don’t drink the water.
5. Worship at the appropriate sports shrine on gameday
Heinz Field, PNC Park, Consol or your friendly neighborhood sports bar.
6. Embrace thy inner Yinzer.
Use the word jagoff (liberally), drink an Iron City, listen to some Donnie Iris and wear your love for this city on your sleeve (or back, or face).
Thou Shall Not…
7. Steal thy neighbors parking space.
That chair is there for a reason, you will be struck down for moving it.
8. Complain about the weather.
It will snow in the winter. It will be hot in the summer. Deal with it.
9. Say there’s nothing to do in Pittsburgh.
Seriously, stop it! Get out from under your rock already. There is always something going on, and it usually includes food!
10. Grow tired of making top 10 lists.
Most liveable, affordable, resilient, up and coming, smartest, etc, etc. Stay humble and stay hungry, Pittsburgh.